Paging Dr. Freud

A Sexual Fantasy

— By Lady Maristella

Years ago, I engaged in modified psychoanalysis to address longstanding issues. I met with my psychiatrist twice a week for several years. In psychoanalysis, the patient does most of the talking, encouraged to say anything that comes to one's mind, without censorship. A common feature is transference, where the client projects feelings onto the analyst, seeing them as someone else in their life. My psychiatrist had the name of my deceased father, and despite our only 12 year age gap, I did see him as a father figure, and definitely an authority figure. One day, sitting in the leather armchair in his office, I had the thought: what if I masturbated in a session- brought myself to orgasm in his presence? No words, just me feeling uninhibited, maybe vulnerable, but free to show all of me? Thinking of it now, I cringe a bit, but back then, it was a tempting thought!