Home for the Holidays

A Sexual Fantasy

— By fallofautumn

She’s always known she wanted to kiss me. It started there, something innocent. When we were kids and I was sexually confused by religion and unforgiving judgements, ‘ Let me kiss you.’ I said no. We were best friends. I’d spent every day and night at her house. We’d show each other our tits and compare sizes. We’d talk about sex with boys under God’s watchful eye. Waiting until marriage. I’d say no. I spent years attempting to have sex with women. But something was missing, that pent up forbidden lustful fuck - the kind of fuck I’d dream about but would never get. Until after a long while away from home - I’d come back for the holidays. My best friend would offer accommodations for two months. I’d been planning a trip to Europe, indefinitely. Her husband always got on my nerves. He’d asked us when we were children, ‘Do you guys want to have a threesome?’ Bold move when both girls are more about ‘the rules’ and secretly more interested in fucking each other. He goes to work everyday. My best friend and I spend hours on the sofa laughing and watching tv. I have hopes she’ll take a bath with me: I beg her. Jokingly, she laughs every time. Tells me, ‘no - I’ll get too confused.’ When they’ve had a fight and she’s aggressively pent up - we drink. I’ve brought drugs from California. She finally accepts. We have a few moments where we cross lines as we chill that night. Trying in lingerie and complimenting our fat bodies. Expressing how more women need to look like THIS! Finally, she accepts and begins running the bath. We fill it with bubbles and bombs and laugh manically. We both know what may happen but cannot consider the consequence in the moment of presence. We undress and I play shy. ‘Turn around, the bubbles will cover me - prevent any confusion’ I darkly joke. As we soak and talk about queerness - her decision to marry a man. Their decade of love. I ask the same question - ‘well, have you thought about fucking a woman… together?’ They’ve talked about it. But now isn’t the time. ‘How would you determine THE moment?’ I ask. Our bodies are entangled and my feet rub against her thighs. I can see her question her morals. I’ve learned to let myself be freer in such moments. She says she wants to tell me a secret. I notice a seductiveness in her tone. I accept. She leans in and as she whispers in my ear - without fully listening, I turn my face directly to hers. ‘Ladies first.’ I joke. She kisses me. The shock of such vows being broken. Surges adrenaline through my own body. We begin kissing softly but I cannot contain the desire to give her something memorable.