A Sexual Fantasy

— By peach

This may not be the most "porn" confession, but it is something sexual and something I would like to confess.

I do not like the sex with my current boyfriend. The way he looks at me, the way he touches me and most of all the way he talks to me during sex make me feel like we are just two bodies, quenching a thirst by using the other's body. This is fine, don't get me wrong, this kind of sex can be deeply gratifying, but the deeper dimension is lacking.

With my ex, the sex was so different. All of the drama around it aside, I felt insanely connected to him. This boy (because we were around the same age, and I usually go for a little older) and his limited sexual experience made me feel so, so, so deeply ... me?

All other guys up to this point haven't been able to match the way he touched me, or looked at me. It was a way of being together that melted and blended in perfectly with other activities; I didn't feel a different person when we did it; not like with other guys, when I have to flip on the sexy switch.

The way he looked at me was completely void of images of commercialized sex, when he looked at me, he really saw me, he was not projecting some fantasy on me. And I felt like we weren't even two different entities, the action of fucking was organical. I still can't get over the wholeness of it.