Primal Sex Paradox

We all have inside of us a masculine and a feminine side, however much nature and desire can pull us towards one side or the other--or to both.

I love being a cockstrong, dominant male, especially in bed. But there’s another side that loves the feminine. Early on, I took deep joy reading stories by female writers beginning with Laura Ingalls Wilder and my favorite writers today include Sappho and Sandra Cisneros. I had a beloved troll doll as a kid. In my adolescence, it excited me to try on secretly in a pool house the bikini of my friends’ older sister. I later lost my virginity in a threesome with a bi couple. Once naked, all my nervousness dissipated: it felt so natural and free to be sexually fluid.

After the end of a long marriage, where I always played it straight, I began a wild relationship with a sexually adventurous woman who was very bi. Most of our adventures involved her going bi to initiate erotic play with another couple or on an occasional date with a unicorn. Any red-blooded male would love to get sexed up with two women at the same time, and I did.

But my favorite adventure was my most feminine. We became friends with a drag queen. I confessed to him how I lost my virginity and then something else: my desire to be a girl at an upcoming party of his “boy-girl” friends. OMG, what fun it was them getting me ready for that night: shopping for a little black dress, fuck me shoes, waxing my hair off, a pedicure, lipstick, styling my hair (a blonde wig), and lots of girl talk. I so much wanted to look and act like both a sorority girl and a slut.

At the party, I was shy at first. But then a “girl” began chatting me up (who I’d been told had the biggest cock). I tried playing hard to get, but my pulsing imagination sabotaged my plan. I wanted him too much as our toy. My lover and I carried him off into a bedroom, blindfolded him, tied him to the bed, and then had our way with him. The paradox allures: Going all girly stirred up my primal manhood.