Radical Aliveness
A Sexual Fantasy
I am madly in love with a shy guy. We are both in our 40’s and we interact in professional settings. I melt away every time we catch each other’s gaze… During a corporate team building, everyone had to propose a 15 min activity that would reveal what makes one feel alive and happy. I proposed to dance on a 5 Rhythms tune by Gabrielle Roth: Flowing, Staccato, Chaos, Lyrical and Stillness. We all danced like no one was watching, moving and stretching and feeling our bodies, letting out stiffness and tension. I was breathing with all my being, letting out soft ah sounds. When the music stopped we all opened our eyes and were surprised to see each other’s sparks in the eyes. By chance he was right in front of me. He had a bright smile and said “so this is how you feel alive”. I looked back and said without thinking “sex makes me even more radically alive” and blushed. Everyone in the group was feeling very well and some people started hugging. He came to me to hug me too and while I was hiding my embarrassment in his shoulder, he whispered in my ear “I would like to feel radically alive with you. Tonight? My room?”. My heart was racing and my mind was away for the rest of the day. In the evening I sent him a brief sms “my room”. He came in a few minutes, he hugged me and tried to look in my eyes but instead I turned away, turned on the music and some tribal flowing rhythm filled the room. We danced together touching gently, taking off the clothes. By staccato our bodies were moving synchronously, him making rhythmic circles with his hands and lips all over my body. He entered me moving lovingly but as the chaos part broke out we lost control, moving frenetically. I felt I was coming but we did not stopped touching each other and the shiver of orgasm spread from the belly all over the body. I was tired and sweating but I did not want it to stop. The touch was so electric that it was almost hurting so with the lyrical rhythm we slowed down. His hand was slowly brushing my back and I was shivering and crying. We fell asleep holding each other.
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