Don't Call Me a Dick

Get up close and very personal with three of life's greatest pleasures: the dick, the c*nt and the asshole.



By Barbara

Director: Olympe de G

Performers: Rooster , Bishop Black, Heidi Switch

Don’t call me a dick,
a dick is the most beautiful thing in the world,
an inflatable miracle
a forever jumping whale,
the softest hardness,
a shot of he-roin,
sometimes a vulnerable caterpillar,
or a sleeping mole,
sometimes a volcano spitting cloudy emotions,
your very own milky way generator,
or even that mythical eleventh finger
that knows exactly how to tickle loving feelings.
Don't call anyone a dick,
dicks are God, worship them.

Don't call me a cunt,
a cunt is the first wonder of the universe,
a big bang of tenderness, a primordial embrace,
a black star that sucks all the Cold and the Sad
in this Mans’ world
and squirts back geysers of forgiveness.
A cunt is the ultimate « yes »
it has no thorns, no teeth,
When it is happy… it cries,
and its tears have the sweet taste of Grace.
If divine had a visage,
it would be a cunt,
and its glorious wholeness would spit in Freud’s face,
Worship cunts,
’cause without cunts you’d just be an asshole lost in the wind.

Don’t call me an asshole,
an asshole is the alpha and the omega of pleasure,
a surprise-kiss, an unexpected wink,
a modest tiny door to over the rainbow.
Knock knock… it blushes,
and a passage opens tenderly,
to offer a glimpse of la vie en rose.
Its slow glowing dilatation
is a delightful remembrance of our animal condition…
aren’t we just wonderful worms,
extraordinary shit machines?
Timid roses, azaleas, wilted violets or sakuras,
the assholes bloom for me and you.
Cherish them as your Pantheon,
and the most precious of all compliments.


Behind the Scenes

Your Comments

  • Humanoid-bonobo
    I’m so hungry now! With my all senses. And I’m lucky because of the food that I have in my refrigerator. 🤤
  • Kilia
    bravo!!! amazing slow motion, beautiful, sensual, body parts, hot and stimulating.
  • smartboy69
    thank you..
  • caiojuliano
    Wonderfully shot!
    Extraordinario homenaje al cuerpo humano en sus partes externas más nobles desde la inusual perspectiva de una estética del "feismo" que no puede ser mas bella y excitante. Felicitaciones a Olimpe de G., a Erika, y obviamente a los performers...
  • Silencer
    This is not porn. This is a piece of art, and it's magical.
    • HeidiSwitch
    • EmmySwitch
      i second that!
  • CatherineZ
    Wow! That was incredible.
    • edipilove
      i agree Catherine ;)
  • Anina
    so beautiful! i really like alle the scenes...
  • venaxar
    This is a masterpiece. The human body is a precious thing. Doesn't matter the shape or the color... we all have perfect bodies and everyone is unique. This is a really powerful film... and an inspirational one. THANK YOU FOR THIS! 👏🏼 🙏🏼
    • HeidiSwitch
  • Niblick
    What a wonderful piece of art. Amazing editing that just created a wonderful atmosphere, truly mesmorizing.
  • sweaterbandit
    Wow wow WOW. This enchants and excites and challenges me to love the sensual simplicity of human form all over again. Mil gracias.
  • mrsdsmith33
    Beautiful video.
  • Diva Sensuelle
    Amazing. Yes, it is a work of art. I had never seen a pussy ejaculate, and it came as such a surprise! I was in awe. The lighting was perfect, and the music was as mesmering as the images. Envoutant. Quelle magnifique célébration du corps humain! Merci.
  • donb
    Art! Both visually and spoken!
  • jojocharlie
    beautiful, life affirming
  • Protontorpedo
    Wow...I’m blown away at how beautiful that was
  • insanerabbit
    Oh my God! It was awesome. So artistic and very beautiful~~~
  • Martin
    This is amazing!! I must see it again and again! FANTASTIC!!!
  • Guillerm0
    Ce court-métrage est tout simplement sublime. Heidi est suave. Du pur bonheur!