Lesbian, Trans and Irresistable
A Sexual Fantasy
I have this friend, recent friend. I admire her as a very strong woman. She defines herself at the moment as lesbian transgender. We have had some very intense conversations about her transition, dreams, sex and closeness and we have become more close, friends. One thing that keeps me curious though is the fact that she hasn’t been sexually intimate with anyone yet, apart from once before her transition as a teenager. She keeps telling me that she tried finding someone but that it’s too complicated for her and that she actually doesn’t need it in her life. There is something about her being super rational and dry, almost cold. We have had some conflicts, because I am chaotic and always late, but we like each other.
One thing, why I am really happy that we live in different cities, is that I have this active fantasy with her that can never happen, because we are bound together workwise.
In a moment where there’s only us on a couch. We have been drinking beers and laughing and talking about our lives, wishes, about my men stories and her search. We come to the point where we talk about her sexuality and she says she will never know how it is as if it were really certain and just another fact. But theres a silence after that, which is not silent at all inside me, I ask her if I can touch her. She looks at me almost petrified but then nods. She is wearing a red dotted blouse that I unbutton. And there she is with her bare chest. We look each other in the eyes and I smile. She wants to smile but can’t. It is so silent that we can only hear our heavy breathing. It’s exciting, intense, uncertain. I start caressing her with slightly insecure but warm hands, running my fingers down her skin and up again, around her breasts, through her hair. I kiss her softly. Soft and careful at first, then we become more confident. I stop, just to kiss her neck and her nipples. Finally, I have her hands on me too, in my hair and over my neck and shoulders.
I haven’t dared to dream further… It would just be the beginning.
Maybe I should.