The Boardroom

This is an interesting fantasy, because it contradicts my feminist values, but perhaps that's why it's also one of the most powerful fantasies for me (I'm not proud of it).

I'm in an impressive meeting room, on the 15th floor (or something), with glass windows and a view of the city. Around one end of a large mahogany table sit 6 old, fat, men. They are politicians/bankers/male-dominated-profession of some kind. They are discussing something - making big, important decisions that will have an impact on many people.

Then, somehow, I am there. Sitting in the centre of the table facing them. I'm entirely naked. I don't pay them much attention, but I begin to touch myself and masturbate as I do alone - enjoying myself. The men look up, and when they see me, they're unable to continue their conversation. Pretty soon their reaching for their zippers, and masturbating too - unbothered by professional decorum and their colleagues around them, so transfixed and turned on they are by the sight of me - a sexually liberated woman, having sex with herself.

Sometimes the fantasy develops into group sex; sometimes it remains a performance and a turned on audience, who never touch.

In reflection, I think it frustrates me that I'm so often using my intelligence and logic to prove my equal value and standing to men - I refuse to use my sexuality in any way to get places, or persuade people. But maybe there's a part of me that sometimes wonders if it might be a damn sight more effective to masturbate in front of men, to overpower them with sex (rather than intellect). And perhaps a part of me desires to be the sexual object of powerful men, because more often than not, I'm their intellectual equal and debating opponent.