Blind Naked Scared

Dear Erica,

I have now read a lot of confessions and seen some of your films. Now I need to confess myself. What I write now, nobody has so far got to know. I can't talk about it, because all people I could tell this would not understand.

I am married and have three children of 11 to 16.

What I will tell you, is a fantasy, a dream, nothing, that can become reality... but it haunts me since I was about 16. I sometimes lay in bed, eyes closed, and marvel my fantasy, slowly stroking myself, caressing my body and finally coming to an orgasm together, in my fantasy and in my bed.

This is one version of my recurring fantasy:

In my fantasy I am always naked from the beginning. It doesn't matter, how and why. And I am blind. Fear of what is happening to me, is an important part of it. I am scared, because I am naked and blind. I am standing in a room with other people. I can hear them. All of a sudden, I feel the touch of a hand, than more hands. People move around me, touching me. Every part of my skin is being touched. There must be at least twenty, maybe more. The touches gradually get rougher and more intimate but I still stand there, unmoving and still scared. No word is spoken. And although the situation scares me and the touches are not gentle I become aroused. At this point, someone forces me to spread my legs. The rough touches now concentrate on my pussy. Hands grip my flesh, fingers are inserted into me, slaps hit my open vulva. It hurts. But I still become more aroused until finally I come.

There are other versions. But always I am blind, naked and scared.