Inner Cravings

I am a woman turning 30 in 3 months and I haven’t had sex yet. I have never found someone to do it with. But the yearning of a human touch on my body has bubbled into fascinating and shocking fantasies. For a girl who is nerdy, shy, soft spoken and always overdressed, I sure do have fantasies of having the most explosive sex while I’m being watched. Some of the fantasies include being fingered and eaten while I’m semi-naked on a train, or having 2 men pleasure me in a sex positive club, people watching me pleasure myself while in a see through glass house or even simply swimming naked in a pool while people watch me eagerly (more preferably a natural pool). I must admit I did indulge in one fantasy while living in a hotel and wearing nothing at all and standing by my window that looked over a busy intersection. Knowing that cars were waiting for lights to change with people in them who could see me touching myself and I found myself wishing they could have turned me on in ways I can’t explain. Pushing my naked self up against the window and feeling that cold glass on my skin and the glances of men yearning to touch me empowered me beyond my imagination. Maybe my lifelong act of being a good girl was a farce and all I desire is for people (specifically men) to pleasure me and get excited while watching me getting fucked. I might lose these cravings after I have sex, I don’t know. But I’d like to one day live out these fantasies nonetheless.