Madly in Love with My Best Friend

I think I'm madly in love with my best friend, but of course, she doesn't know. I'm not sure if she even likes women... She is the coolest person I've ever met, so sexy, so modern, so confident. Everything I lack, she has.

Sometimes I'm not really sure if I'm madly in love with her, or if I just want to be her.

Yesterday I had a strange dream about her. I was watching her having sex with a singer in this weird and sensual club. I was hiding between doors and curtains and people, balancing my desire to watch with the guilt and shame and fear of getting caught watching them. I felt dizzy, and when I came back from my dizziness I had become her, and she was the one watching me.