To give is as good as to receive

I wonder what it's like to receive sex. I've always given sex to my partners. I've always been the one to enter somebody else's world - and I've loved it. But I wonder what it'd be like to receive sex. To open myself up to her and allow her to become a part of me. And what it'd be like to do so in front of others who can share in how our love and our bodies encompass each other. Maybe I'll start by myself and buy something proud and strong online, and test whether I have it in me to allow somebody else into my world.