A Sexual Fantasy
I'm a filmmaker, like you Erika. My spirit, my fervor, is focussed through my lens. My desire. I am fascinated by the distinction between reality and imagination - and bringing my own fantasies to life. I take pleasure in nurturing a fantasy, and then giving breath to it with actors. Watching them live out my desires through my lens, masochistically torturing myself, wanting to live out the dream myself. But being unable, forbidden, locked behind the camera. I watch their tongues dance across each other's skin, I focus on the bead of sweat sliding along his temple. I see his hands touch her slit and make her begin to tremble, and I can feel the tremble beginning within myself. I know what I choose to look at will be what others see, how others experience my fantasy. Always on the outside, always the voyeur, always longing to join in.
*Stills by Tina Dubrovsky