A Sexual Fantasy

— By Kelis fan

There are only two things I know for certain: I am addicted to strawberry milkshakes and I need to get laid. Current status of my sex life: my milkshake hasn't brought any boys to the yard in a while.

I went to my favourite diner the other night to treat myself to a well deserved dessert. The barman knows me because I am his most frequent customer, and like every other time we started flirting immediately but this time something strangely awesome happened. As I sipped my creamylicious milkshake and tried to suppress my severe horniness I started thinking, what if milkshakes had magic powers? And suddenly I started to see the people around me having sex. The barman, the waiters and waitresses... they soaked themselves in caramel sauce and whipped cream and fed each other chocolate covered strawberries whilst fucking shamelessly on the tables, the floor, the bar.. And the best part was that I got to watch the whole damn thing. I haven't been able to get this fantasy out of my head ever since. am I going crazy or is my mind just so desperate to get me back in the game that it's playing tricks on me?