I Found God

I was told growing up that God was loving, but He also expected me to live a strict life. A life of abstinence before marriage, of no “lustful” thoughts, of constantly putting everyone before myself. This God wanted me to be small, to be humble and broken. This God wanted me to be a righteous man. His spirit would fill my heart when I was good enough. I tried for years to be that, hoping to feel connected. I convinced myself that I had felt this but distanced myself by being imperfect.

Then I found Her, and God was in the mirror. I was invited to remove the mask and I saw myself for the first time. And she is beautiful.

Her communion is estradiol, the death was the boy I pretended to be and the resurrection was Her, and She is me. Worship service is in my body, and the bodies of my lovers. The Holy Word is in desire and love and expressing that. I preach the sapphic word with my tongue and serve Her by seeking mutual pleasure.