High Maintenance

They call me high maintenance like it's a bad thing. You think it's easy to look this good? Smell this good? Dress this well? It takes work to keep my hair coiffed, my skin moisturized, my nails manicured, my legs shaved smooth, my pubes perfectly trimmed. Did I mention the clothes? The shoes? The bags?

Damn right I'm high maintenance! And I need a maintenance man (or two) to service me regularly.