I Found Your Mother on Tinder

Oh, my god, how many times, during my early teenage years, I spent fantasizing about my friend Martin’s mother! While my mum is dowdy and boring, and wears ugly cardigans and sensible shoes, every time I went to visit Martin his mum would walk past. She looked like an empress. While at other kid’s places the house would be crowded with everyday objects, Martin’s home was always orderly and refined. I would go home after doing my homework with Martin and touch myself all night thinking about his mother. Then my father took a new job on the other side of the country and I had to change schools. Ten years went by, I went back to my hometown and, being single, I installed the Tinder app in my mobile
phone...