All I want is a romance novel

I've always been sheltered. I've never known what it's like to have a full blown orgasm. I've never felt a mans touch the way all my friends describe it. I've never even seen a penis up close and personal. I don't want to wait until I'm married either. I want to grab a long shaft and slide my hand up and down it. I want to lick the pre-cum off the tip like they do in romance novels. I just want to feel. I don't want to be the girl next door anymore. I want to fuck my best friend. He doesn't even know I exist. I don't even want a relationship. I just want to be pushed up against a wall and be fucked the shit out of. I want it hard and rough. I don't want anyone to find out either.