Ruin My Life

I know it's wrong, I love my girlfriend of 3 years very much. I've never cheated on her, but I have a fantasy that I can't get out of my head. She has a friend. Jen. Jen is good looking, she has Oak colored hair, a ruddy complexion, and a jiggly physique that oozes a primal sexuality. I don't want to cheat on my girlfriend with Jen. But sometimes, at parties, we'll be standing close to each other talking, and she'll occasionally touch my shoulder. I know it's wrong, but I'm getting hooked on those little shoulder touches. It's as if her hand is made out of some kind of electrical current that frazzles my nervous system every time they make contact with me. Those little shoulder touches led to the development of this fantasy.

Me, my girlfriend and Jen at a little house party. Moderately priced wine is pumping through our blood, and keeping us warm. I go off somewhere, like, to the bathroom, or to a quite room to make a phone call, and when I do, Jen stumbles into the room. She says she is lost, or that she needed a break from all the superficial conversations people were having. Sits next to me on the bed that I was making my call in, or better yet, she pushes me into a little closet. I tell her, "what are you doing?" I don't tell her to stop though.

She starts rubbing me over my khakis. The muscles in my face loosen, and the corners of my eyes melt downwards, as the friction of her hand moving up and down on the outside of my pants causes my breathing to get heavier. "Maybe you should stop," I tell her. "Do you want me to?" She asks? I know the answer to this question, I know the answer is yes, yes, I want you to stop. I know that if we stop now, it'll be bad, but it won't be the end of the world. If I let her keep going, it'll ruin my life, at least temporarily. But God it feels so good. "Please don't stop." I tell her. I know it's wrong, but sometimes you just want pleasure so bad your willing to ruin your life for it. Jen opened my khakis, and brought me to ruins.