Feeling Like A Man

I am a female to male transgender person, mid 20s in age. I have large glasses and I love women of color with large hair. I have not had surgeries yet, only hormonal therapy. I have a deep voice and I stubble but I still have a woman's body. I have not had a girlfriend in a long time, because I am very shy about this.

In my fantasy the lover comes to me and she slowly removes the glasses before we kiss, looking me in the eyes as if to break down my barriers. She has very heavy lipstick on, leaving marks and smears all over my body through the whole scene. She unbuttons my shirt to reveal my chest binder (an undershirt that compresses my chest to reduce the appearance of breasts) and we kiss on the neck and open mouth while I undress her completely. I pleasure her until she reaches for my pants. She unbuttons my pants and for a while I look away, shy, before she reaches in and starts to touch me. After we remove the chest binder, she plays with my breasts, very sensual in comparison to the rough and careless entry, maybe like coming in an apartment from a bar. We make love on the sofa and despite my features she makes me feel like a man, despite the obvious discomfort I have in my femininity. In my dreams I run my fingers over my breasts, over one of her lipstick markings.